so it's like running over eggshells, you know?
by grandpa garbage
Summary: Rin does some good old cliched contemplating on the beach while her friends have a fun time, and this is just metaphors, all metaphors, really.


It was getting to that stage where she couldn't understand their feelings.

Or _anyone's_ , really.

It wasn't that she was stupid. She wasn't 'stupid', and she knew that. Perhaps there was an awful fee to pay with intelligence, wisdom, with too much knowledge for a petty human to comprehend. The fee was trading in any touch of humanity, of raw instinct, in exchange for being aware.

Being aware of everything, anything, so much that it made you feel tiny…

...infinitesimal.

The crushing weight of reality would be too much for a miniscule heart, a miniscule person. Life had been stripped of something everyone naturally had from the beginning, this _essence_ that made life worth living, that made it easier to _ignore_ all the horrible happening around them.

She… she couldn't remember making the trade for this awful experience, why she'd even done it. One day, she woke up feeling 'off', and things gradually grew out of hand from there - until nothing even felt _real_ anymore.

Rin stared down at the coarse, freckled skin on her knees. The air was salty, the sound of waves and people laughing in the distance. Wet sand clung to her feet and ankles. She'd waded in the shallow water for a while, trying to comprehend the fun, but everything went right through her like she was a ghost.

Maybe she _was_. She often felt it, a side character to everyone's grand main stories. Just when… was her life going to kick up…?

Len flopped down beside her with a loud exhale. Droplets of seawater clung to the ends of his hair, rolling over smooth skin. He took a swig from his lukewarm lemonade and glanced at her.

"What's up? You've been sitting here staring at your knees all afternoon, like a kicked puppy."

She stared at him, then fixed her gaze back on her knees. "Oh. I stepped on something sharp in the water." She gestured to the cut on the side of her foot, and the blood-stained sand. It was still oozing a little.

He screwed up his face. "Ow. Shouldn't you put a band-aid on that, at least? It'll get infected, otherwise."

Rin shrugged her shoulders.

"I'm sure Meiko brought some, or maybe Luka." He turned away to shout, "Hey Meiko! Did you bring any band-aids?"

The brunette, who was swimming with the others, jerked her head in their direction. "Yeah, why?"

"Rin cut her foot."

"They're in my handbag, in one of the sidepockets. Can you fetch them?"

Len grinned. "Sure. Thanks, Meiko!"

Meiko waved her hand dismissively and turned away to continue her conversation with her peers.

He gave Rin a rough pat on the shoulder. "See? Can always trust Meiko to bring the necessities. What a good Mumfriend." The boy jumped up to scout for said woman's bag, rummaging around in it roughly.

She frowned at him, but said nothing.

"There! All better." Len sat back to admire his work with pride after patching up her wound. "How does it feel?"

"Well, it stings."

"There's proof you're still alive!" He burst out in boisterous laughter, nudging her with his elbow. When he saw she wasn't impressed with his joke, he sobered. "Well, I guess you can't swim with that kind of gash. You'll be okay sitting up here?"

Rin nodded.

Len reached out to ruffle her hair. For a split second, she felt warmth spread through her chest - then, nothing at all. "Don't party too hard, kiddo." The boy jumped up and took off towards the ocean and their friends, not looking back once.

She rested her chin on her arms, observing as the group of young adults interacted with each other. Len, Miku, Luka, Kaito, Meiko. They all seemed so happy, so natural together. She just didn't fit into the equation of carefree and full of love, not anymore. Everyone was so close, so understanding, had one special person to rely on always… and she, she did not. Nobody needed her; she was just… the second option. The backup, or something.

"I'm okay," she whispered to herself, as the sun dipped towards the horizon. "I'm okay sitting up here, all alone, by myself. It's just how it is, being a singularity."

The sad thing was, life would keep on, no matter how out of place she felt. Everyone would keep moving on, everything, time would just slip away through her fingers rendered worthless; though everyone thought that the universe bent for them, and that their death would be the worthwhile end to whatever life they lived, at the end of the day, time waits for no one.

* * *

gotta go fast (to my grave)


End file.
